I never would have known…

Everybody always says, “Just wait until you’re a parent. Then you’ll understand.” This applies to many things, such as the unconditional love a parent feels for a child, the pain a parent feels when a child hurts, and the helplessness a parent feels when their baby is is sick, in pain, or hurting emotionally. It’s only been a few months since JJ has come into our lives and I have experienced all of these and more.

When JJ was in the hospital at 2 1/2 months old, I felt incredibly helpless. There was nothing I could do to make him feel better and he obviously was hurting. Whenever I see that smiling face look at me and laugh, I can’t help but smile and laugh because of all the joy he’s brought into our lives. When he’s laying in bed sniffling and congested, I wish there was something that I could do to make his life a little easier. When he started sitting at 5 months, crawling at 6 months, and cruising at 7 1/2 months, I felt the most pride I have ever felt. I could only imagine my feelings when he walks, says “I love you,” graduates kindergarten, or goes to college.

Even on those nights when he wakes up constantly crying and inconsolable, these emotions don’t go away. Sure, in the short term I’m not happy and might even feel frustrated, but I always want to figure out what’s going on so I can fix it. Isn’t that a parent’s job? That’s going to be so hard for me when I have to let him fix his own problems. I’m sure he’ll figure it out though. He’s an amazing little boy.