Providing for my family

I don’t know how families with stay at home parents do it. It seems nearly impossible to survive on one income once you have children unless you are willing to cut back a lot. I never realized how much my income meant to our family even though I make less than half of what my husband does. These past 4 months I’ve been off of work, we’ve been able to make it utilizing some of our small business income and our savings, but both of those are getting low. We’ve been really blessed though, as we have not had to buy anything at all for our baby since he’s been born. Also, my mom has been able to give us tons of food from her work which has helped out a lot, especially with the cost of groceries rising as they do. A gallon of milk is over $5 and a dozen eggs is $3. Ridiculous! Thank God I’ll be going back to work in the next month.

Personally, I’m a bit frustrated. I have 2 college degrees, graduate work, and a teaching credential and I can’t get a job. I’ve been trying all summer since about early June and have yet to even land an interview. Sure I can sub, but I would make 1/3 to 1/2 of what a regular teacher would make. That’s what I’ll continue to do until I can land a permanent position because I think it is very important for me to remain in the field and get my name out there. I must say, I’m kind of jealous. Almost everybody I know that is an elementary school teacher got into it because they knew somebody. Up until about 2 years ago, I knew someone but she moved and I don’t have a current number for her. I know I’ll feel more proud of myself by getting a job the old-fashioned way, but a little help can’t hurt. You can bet I’ll be hitting all the job fairs once they start out again. I really don’t want to drive more than 25 miles each way to work though, but I am on a time crunch. I have to work at least 2 out of the next 4 years to clear my credential.

I just want to thank everyone who has helped us get through this summer knowing that finances have been tight for everyone. Thanks to my husband for going to work every day. Thanks to my mom and stepdad for giving us extra groceries. Thanks to my cousin and grandma who have offered to provide childcare to us so I can go back to work and thanks to all of these people plus Aunt Linda and a few others who helped us get everything we could ever need for the baby! We appreciate it!

Meal Planning

So I’ve figured out one way to save money on groceries is meal planning. I’ve never been a big fan of it, mostly because I’m too lazy and would rather go out to eat than make decisions about what to eat. Many a night has passed when my husband has come home and says, “What’s for dinner?” and I say, “I don’t know” and we sit around for about 30 minutes and say, “Where do you want to eat?” It’s not good for our budget or our waistlines.

Lately, though, I’ve started making menus as soon as we go shopping. That way we have options and we have no excuse when it comes to going out to eat. We only go shopping about once every 3 weeks or so, with the exception of staples like milk, bread, etc…I think I’ve become pretty creative when it comes to figuring out things to eat. It’s amazing how many different ways there are to cook chicken on a budget. From chicken fettucine primavera to chicken enchiladas, to green chili and pepper jack cheese chicken. Yummy! A good thing about being on a budget is that I am using things in our cupboard instead of wasting them and throwing them away.

Earthquake!

So today we had an earthquake, one of the biggest ones I’ve personally ever felt. It was a 5.4 and it was centered very close to my home–only about 15 miles or so. However, it was pretty deep and so the damage statewide wasn’t all that bad. We’re all taught in school to duck and cover when there is an earthquake, but I forgot all about that when it was happening. My protective instinct kicked in and I went directly to my baby and hovered over him, making sure nothing was around that could have fallen on him or hurt him. Luckily, it didn’t last that long. It didn’t even scare the baby. He just looked around like he was a little startled, but otherwise it didn’t even seem to bother him at all. I felt one of the aftershocks, but it wasn’t that bad. Overall, in the first 3 hours after the earthquake there were over 30 aftershocks. This will be something to write in his baby book–his first major earthquake. Not like he’ll remember it or anything.

My birth experience

In my very first post, I was going to write about my birth experience, but found myself too tired to do so. I’ll do that here.

I was supposed to go in to be induced on Monday, April 21 st at 2 pm, which was 9 days past my due date. We weren’t able to be admitted because there were no rooms. The day before was a full moon and had apparently triggered numerous women to go into labor. We woke up at 8 am that morning, eager to finally become parents. We finally received a call at around 11 pm saying they had a room for us.

They got me hooked up to an I.V. and put some sort of gel pill in me to get labor going. I had to lay flat on my back for an hour after these pills were inserted and I had a lump on my bed right in the middle of my back that was incredibly uncomfortable. I literally watched the clock and counted the minutes til I could move. I repeated this process 3 times, after which they decided to start me on Pitocin.

I was dilated to 4 centimeters before I started feeling my contractions. They weren’t that bad until my water broke and they inserted not only a catheter, but an internal fetal monitor, and an internal contraction monitor. They wouldn’t let me eat or drink anything at this time and I was starving and thirsty. I opted for an epidural, which wasn’t a fun experience. It took 45 minutes to get placed. I was sitting up which didn’t work, so I layed down. They kept telling me if I don’t stop moving, they’re not going to be able to do it. Hello, I’m in pain. I can’t help it. To top it off, the nurse and anasthesiologist kept making small talk while putting this massive needle in my back.

This happened a little after noon on Tuesday. I had been in the hospital about 13 hours or so. Until about 10 pm I labored uneventfully until I was finally fully dilated. They decided to let me push then. The doctor was so rude. She kept telling me, “Your contractions aren’t in your chest.” I was thinking, geez lady I’ve never done this before and I’m numb from the waist down. Give me a break. They only let me push about 30 minutes. I probably only pushed through about 7 or 8 contractions. They decided to get the vacuum out to help him make it through. It didn’t work.

Around 11 or 1130 pm, they tell me I have to have a C-section. I broke down. I was devastated. I wanted to have him naturally so bad. They didn’t even tell me why we were having one and they didn’t give me an option. I was crying so hard. It was the last thing I wanted. But an hour later (after now having been awake for about 40 hours) I was wheeled into the OR. My little one was born at 12:20 am Wednesday after more than 24 hours of labor. I didn’t hear him cry after they said he was out, but it only took a couple seconds and I heard him. I was so relieved, yet so tired. Apparently the doc said I never would have been able to have him vaginally since his head was too big. That would have been nice to know before the 24 hours of labor.

I had to be on a liquid diet the next day which really sucked since I hadn’t had any solid food in like 2 days. However, apparently I healed well. I was completely back to normal within a week and I was finally able to enjoy my 8lb 2 oz bundle of joy! Next time, I won’t do an induction and I don’t really want a scheduled C-section unless I’m 2 weeks or more past my due date. I want to be in control of baby’s birth to the fullest extent possible.

Are you ever really in control once you have kids?

So I realized that when my son went into the hospital for a UTI at 2 1/2 months old, that we as parents, are never really in control. We can do everything we think is right and things can still go wrong. Some things still will happen regardless of what we do to prevent them.

Having a baby has definitely changed my life. It’s brought lots of joy and laughter watching him reach those baby milestones. I love seeing my husband interact with our little one and seeing the little guy look over at him and give him big smiles. I love the tenderness I see when they’re truly bonding.

Some things are definitely harder, especially in the financial department. That was to be expected because, as a teacher, I can’t go back to work until school starts up. We’ve been doing pretty good, but it can be hard changing old habits and giving up things to save money. This has been a struggle for us. My time’s almost up and it’ll be time to return to work. I’m looking forward to bringing home a paycheck again so we can get things back on track. However, I wish I had the stability of a permanent job and not just on-call subbing. It would bring us 2-3 times as much as I make as a sub. I know I’ll make a great teacher; but I’m just not getting the interviews, even after 6 applications. I’m keeping faith that God will bring me to where I’m meant to be and that he continues always to watch over our family, whatever the circumstances will be.

The story of the incredible non-napping baby!

Okay. Last I checked, babies are supposed to nap during the day. I’m not crazy to think that this should be the case right? However, my little man thinks he’s a 4 year old or something. His total naps for the day (between 8 am and 10 pm) are between 30 minutes and 2 hours tops. I don’t understand. I know he’s tired. He’s been extra fussy since he hasn’t been napping much. I try to get him to sleep by putting him in the swing, but even that doesn’t work that well anymore. This week, he’s slept at most 1 1/2 hours during the day. Today he woke up at 8 am and it’s 7 pm now and he has slept about 30 minutes total. Little stinker.

I’m not ready for him to give up naps yet. That’s when I get everything around the house done. If he doesn’t sleep, I don’t get much accomplished. He’s only 3 months; I should have at least 2 or 3 years left before he decides he doesn’t want to sleep during the day. Well, I suppose I should be grateful. He sleeps well at night, mostly. Usually he only wakes up once during a 12 hour period at night. I guess I’ll take being a good sleeper at night over a being a good sleeper during the day. I just hope my little man is getting enough rest. I wish he didn’t fight the naps so much.

He’s gone through so much already!

So my little guy turned 3 months old today. He’s already gone though so much in his short little life. He’s had his first set of shots already. He’s had blood drawn out of both arms. He’s had to give two urine samples. He’s had an I.V. put in his arm and had heartbeat and breathing rate leads attached to him. He’s had a pulse oximeter (sp) attached to his toes. He’s been in the hospital for 36 hours. So…you’d think this would be it, right? Nope. It’s not. The doctor wants to do a follow up test in 3 weeks. This is an invasive test…especially for a boy. The doctor wants to insert a catheter into his bladder that he will put dye into and then they will do an MRI or ultrasound or something to make sure the infection is completely gone. To top it all off, a week after they do that, he has to go in for his second set of vaccinations.

Well he is healthy. After 3 weeks of gaining only 6oz (previously had been gaining this much in a week), he gained 8 oz in 10 days. Looks like he’s finally back on track. Now he is 12 lbs 15 oz. We have about 40-50 size one diapers in the package left and once we finish those, we’ll be on to size 2, even though we have like 9 packs of size 1’s left. His temperature is fine and other than being a little more fussy lately, seems to be doing good.

Hungry all the time!

So I think now that I have this breastfeeding and pumping thing down now, I realize that I am starving all the time. I’ve realized that the most efficient way to get more milk is to pump on one side while the baby feeds on the other. I’m getting at least 2 oz each time I do that. Yesterday, I managed to get 12 oz and today so far I think I’ve got pretty close to the same. Normally I only get about 6 oz tops. Anyhow, all this extra milk making sure makes me hungry. Unfortunately, I have this huge bag of candy in my fridge that I won from a baby shower and I’ve been eating tons of it. I did have lots of yummy sliced veggies for dinner though. I’ve also been eating oatmeal a lot to help me make more milk. I’m getting much more confident that my little guy will have enough when I go back to work. I am so thankful that breastfeeding is a form of weight control because with all of this eating, I would definitely be gaining lots of weight. However, I’ve stayed stable since about 6 weeks post partum. That’s 7 weeks ago. I’m officially at about 10 lbs lower than my pre-pregnancy weight which means I lost a total of 25 lbs. Go me!

When will we try again?

I’ve determined that I love having a baby around the house. I love being able to be a housewife and stay at home. While I’m fairly certain that being a SAHM for the rest of my life is not in my future (nor do I want it to be, I think), I do know that more kids are in my future-albeit not the immediate future. I want to be able to give my baby plenty of time just for him to let him be the baby–to be the one and only. To have a baby too soon after his birth I believe would be to rob him of his time with mommy and daddy.

I’ve figured out that it is financially too difficult being a substitute teacher to have a baby during the school year since I am not entitled to Paid Family Leave as an on-call employee. If I am unable to secure a permanent teaching position, any future babies I have will be in June if I can help it. That way I get the whole summer to spend with him/her. However, if I can secure a full-time teaching position, I would like to have my kids about 6-8 weeks before the end of the school year (paid as a permanent employee) and then have the entire summer to bond.

That being said, I think we will probably start trying again maybe in July or August of 2009. If we have one more after that, it will probably follow soon after as I don’t really want to be more than 32-33 years old when I am done having kids. As it stands now, I will only have 1 kid before I turn 30. That gives me about 3 years or so to have 1-2 more.

Baby Shows

I’ve always been a big fan of baby shows like “Deliver Me,” “Special Delivery,” and “Baby Diaries.” I became even a bigger fan once I found out I was pregnant. Once those hormones kicked in, I found it almost impossible to watch them without crying either out of joy for the new mommies or out of fear and sadness because of something that was wrong with the baby. I’ve found that even though I am no longer pregnant, I still experience the same kind of feelings when I watch those shows. I feel so much compassion for the ladies on those shows that have difficult deliveries or have to deal with heartache in one way or another. I’ve also learned a lot from those shows such as how to give epidurals, effects of various illnesses on pregnancy, different types of disorders that babies can have. It makes me feel so fortunate to have a healthy baby that I can look at and love every single day. Even though my delivery was difficult and my baby has had a few minor health issues, overall he’s okay and I know that’s a lot more than a lot of mommies can ask for.