It finally happened…

So we just got back from our massive driving trip…Riverside to Tahoe, Tahoe to Chico, Chico to Sacramento, and Sacramento to Riverside. We were all absolutely exhausted when we returned. Because we were gone for so many days, I had a lot of catching up to do. When I woke up this morning, I was trying to get a lot of work done. Because of this, I wasn’t giving JJ a whole lot of attention. Soon enough though, he found a way to get my attention. See, it’s normal for JJ to dig through the diapers and occassionally give me one (or two or three or four, for that matter), so when he brought me one as I was working, I almost didn’t think twice. However, I decided to take a look down. What did I see? A naked little baby bottom! That little stinker took his diaper off and handed it to me! After some laughing, I gave the little bugger some loving, put his diaper back on, went back to work and he was happy enough with it.

Something’s gotta give…

…but what? I warn you right now that this blog is going to be long. I have a lot on my mind at this moment and it’s been almost a month since I’ve given an update. I went to bed over an hour ago dog tired, but found my mind wandering in many different directions. I figured since I was up that I might as well do something and here I am…ready to get all of these thoughts and ideas out of my head, off of my chest, and onto this “paper” so to speak.

It all started with my husband starting a political discussion in bed. He said he didn’t think it was fair that people who do not have children have to pay taxes to support education. This, of course, I wholeheartedly disagreed with, being a teacher and all. I thought of all the ramifications of this…like how everyone who does partake of the educational system having their taxes raised and, heck, while we’re on the topic, why should anyone have to pay taxes to support anything they don’t partake of–for instance, the welfare system. The only people who partake of that system don’t pay into it…the system would totally collapse if we used the same reasoning my husband had for education on everything else. Anyhow, enough politics. That’s just what got my brain going and it hasn’t stopped since then.

I’m a busy mom, like all other moms. I work full time outside of the home. I have a one year old at home to take care of, a husband and a household. That doesn’t leave me much time for anything else. Most days I’m able to handle the stresses pretty well, but occasionally, I just break down. I’ve always been a list person and I find great personal satisfaction in marking things off my list. It’s been so difficult to get anything marked off my list anymore. I seem to find more and more things being left undone and it’s very frustrating to me. Our home, for example, sometimes gets to the point where both my husband and I are disgusted with the messiness and unkemptness of it all before we do anything about it because we are both so busy. I’m out of the house at least 9 hours a day and my husband 11, so after we get home, make/eat dinner, and shower, we are wiped out.

My husband has always been the type of person who is very affectionate. He believes in letting others know how he feels often. He tells me how he loves me numerous times during the day–sometimes to the point where I tell him that I haven’t forgotten and that he doesn’t have to let me know any more that day. Granted, I tell him I love him every day too, just not 400 times a day. I never knew why he felt the need to do this until I had my baby. It’s funny…it’s like the emotions just pour out and the words follow. I tell my baby I love him more times a day than I can count. It’s like there’s just this need to verbally express the overflow of my heart. I can’t NOT say it. I totally, totally, understand how he feels and why he needs to say I love you many times a day. To the one who taught me that you can never be told I love you enough, I love you.

I guess there’s really only one other major thing on my mind at this time. It’s my work. I have so many conflicting emotions right now and I don’t even think that there’s one in particular that trumps all the others at this time. I feel stressed, jipped, excited, sad, and joyous all at the same time. I am so excited to see how well my students have done this year. They have grown so much and they have made me so proud with all of their accomplishments. I am joyous because I know they are going to be doing well when they go on to first grade. I am confident that I have prepared them for the academic challenges they will face next year. I am happy because I love coming to work each and every day and getting the opportunity to affect other people’s lives in a profound way. I am also happy because I get to see their smiling faces each day and they are (mostly) happy to see my as well. I am sad because this year is coming to a close and I will be saying goodbye to my first class and because I don’t know when or how long it will be until this opportunity comes my way again. I feel stressed because it’s the end of the year and there are so many things going on–benchmark testing, report cards, filling out cumulative files on each kid, skills day, spring program, packing up all textbooks, tearing down my classroom and that’s only the half of it.

My last emotion is feeling jipped. It’s an emotion I try and fight because I know that it has the capability of taking over and I start to feel bitter when that happens. I have worked my behind off this year, doing a job that very few people would do for the pay I have been getting for it. I feel jipped because I was promised something that didn’t come through. I know I have been given a wonderful opportunity this year. Everyone tells me how dedicated and determined I’ve been this year and how I’ve been such a trooper…easy for them to say. Their salaries are fair…I guess I wouldn’t mind so much, but that fact that our superintendents who already made over 6 figures a year gave themselves a 15% raise during this “budget crisis” just plain pisses me off because I couldn’t be hired on a temporary contract for 3 months that would have cost less than 3 grand total. I’ve actually thought about writing a letter to the superintendents or to the editors of newspapers complaining about what I consider to be an injustice, but then I just think of how it could possibly affect my future and my ability to get a job anywhere else and I stop myself. I just can’t help but wonder, when will I ever catch a break?

It’s depressing…I’m a college grad with two bachelor’s degrees, a teaching credential, and half of my units towards a master’s degree and I’ve never held a job paying more than 20 grand a year. Top that off with 9 years of student loans (and a few credit cards) and I’ve amassed over 67,000 in debt. It’s really sad. I love what I do so much….why can’t I get a job? What can’t I take some of the pressure off of my husband? I just want to make what I’m worth. Is that too much to ask? I’d really like another baby, too, but with all of the extra expenses that having a baby brings (especially the new home and vehicle that would be required to house and tote around a two little ones), it’s not going to be feasible for quite some time.

I just get through my days by knowing that I come home to an amazing family each and every day and even though we have our share of problems, we’re happy and mostly content and right now, that’s more than some people can say. I’m thankful I’m healthy. I’m thankful for wonderful friends and family. I’m thankful for the roof above my head and the food in my refridgerator. I really do have so many things to be thankful for…I just need to reminder to count my blessings more often than I throw my pity parties.

Happy Easter!

Well JJ got to experience his first Easter this year. He had to wait almost a whole year for this event to happen. He did NOT have a good time with the Easter bunny…I’d have to say it was an overwhelming fear/sadness/anger that he felt toward him.

Easter day was great. JJ started off the day in Sunday school with a few of his buddies, then came home to relax for a little while before heading over to Aunt Linda’s for lunch. After a filling dinner of ham, meatballs, olives, deviled eggs and pasta salad, it was off to the front yard for an egg hunt. Grandma Taylor filled a few plastic eggs with coins and taped them shut; then, they “hid” them. It was so adorable to see JJ walking around holding his Easter basket. He would find an egg, pick it up, shake it and continue walking. When he found another egg, he would drop the first one and pick up the second one. Stay tuned to my myspace (www.myspace.com/ucirvine2001) for the video of him doing his hunt. He looked so cute in his my first Easter onesie and bib. Nana got him a soft little bunny rabbit for my first Easter as well.

He was so exhausted by the time we got home, he fell asleep. Seeing as how he only napped 20 minutes in the first 8 hours of his day, I’m sure this nap is going to be a long one…..now the only other milestone we’ll have in the next few weeks is his birthday! Go JJ!!

Where, oh where, has my little baby gone?

So today JJ is 50 weeks old…sounds old, doesn’t it? Well I can’t believe that he will be one in 2 weeks. This year has flown by. I’ve learned to cherish every moment that I’ve been able to spend with him. He (and we) have gone through so much this year. Here’s JJ’s year in a nutshell:

4-23-08 12:20 a.m. JJ comes into this world via C-section weighing in at 8 lbs 2 oz and 19 inches.

4-30-08 JJ’s first big road trip…off to Tahoe in a 10 hour drive to see grandma Curiel and nana Fowler.

June 2008 First visit to pediatric opthamologist. JJ has ptosis in his left eye…not severe though.

July 2008 JJ starts rolling over all by himself…and rolls himself off the bed a time or two (or three!)

7-15ish-08 JJ comes down with a really high temperature (almost 103, poor guy!), starts vomiting. Gets admitted to the hospital for a urinary tract infection. Has to undergo blood being drawn and an IV being put in. What a trooper!

September 2008 First visit to pediatric orthopedic surgeon. JJ has congenital kyphosis–his spine curves outward. May require surgical intervention in the future…he’ll probably be shorter than expected due to this.

September 15ish, 2008–JJ’s first big plane ride. Going to Wisconsin to see mommy’s friend get married!

October 23, 2008–My first taste of real food–oatmeal, yumm! I love it with cinammon.

October 31, 2008–JJ’s first Halloween. He’s a lion. ROAR!!! Also, this is the first day he started pulling himself to standing and he’s crawling. Look out!

November 2008–JJ’s second plane ride. It’s off to Chico to see grandpa Jones, great-grandma and grandpa Jones and a few other auntie’s and uncles. My first Thanksgiving–I had turkey and sweet potatoes.

December 24, 25, 2008–It’s my first Christmas and I’m definitely the star of the show. Santa wasn’t too bad, either.

December 31, 2008–I lasted till about 11ish. What a party-er!

March 13th, 2009–I take my first steps. It’s all over, now! Look at me go. It only takes about 2 weeks before I start prefering walking to crawling…now if only I could figure out how to get up from the middle of the floor.

My party’s going to be at nana Foster’s clubhouse and all my wonderful friends and family are invited. It’s going to be so much fun! See you there–Saturday, April 25th at 1 pm!

Update #2 (Four Stages of Weaning)

As I posted before, JJ has successfully gone from 2 feedings a night to one. That was a while back when that happened. About a month or so ago, when he was ten months old, we stopped night feeding all together and that has worked out wonderfully. So we are 2 for 4 on successful weaning.

One of the other stages, sleeping all night in his crib instead of our bed, has been absolutely successful in the past 3 days. However, I believe it is due to a couple of factors. First and foremost, he has been able to sleep as late as he wants in the morning because it is my spring break. He goes to sleep around 930 or 10 and sleeps until 7 for his morning feed and then back to sleep until 8 or 9 am. He’s rested and not over tired so it’s easy for him to stay in his crib. Secondly, I haven’t been putting him in our bed on his first wake up. I give him the binkie first and if he’s still crying after a long while or wakes up again, only then will I put him in our bed…but it’s been a while.

The last stage, putting himself to sleep, well that has worked for 3 out of the past 4 days. We get him relaxed with us in our bed…not asleep mind you, just relaxed, and then stick him in his crib. He whines for a few minutes–1-5 minutes, then crashes and sleeps all night. I don’t think this stage will be fully met until I stop with the bedtime nursings and I’m not sure when that will happen.

Currently, we are on 3 nursings a day–wake up, get home from work, and bedtime. During the weekends, I add one more in. My supply is decreasing dramatically. The past two weeks at work, I’ve only been able to pump less than an ounce each day. It’s sad. This week I’ve been trying to pump during spring break so that I don’t have to pump when I get back to work and it’s been disappointing–I pump 3 times a day for 15 minutes at a time and I got a grand total of 2 oz….I’m so close to my goal–JJ will be 1 in 14 days. I don’t have enough frozen milk to get him through that time. On his birthday, we’re cutting out all feedings except wake up and bedtime and who knows when those feedings will go. I know I’m going to miss it though. It’s nice having those mommy and baby bonding times.

Pictures!

Just thought I would let everyone know that John has a ton of pictures on Photobucket. Here is the link and all you do is pick the categories on the side to see the pics.

http://s248.photobucket.com/albums/gg181/jfj3rd/

Walking!!! (Part 2)

So JJ was taking a couple of steps here and there the week of March 8th, but nothing significant. Then on Friday, March 13th he really took off. That made him about a week or so shy of 11 months. We wondered if he was ever going to start walking because he had been crawling since he was 6 months old and he had gotten so comfortable doing that. We just needed to wait for his time. Now it’s April 6th and he is finally walking more than he is crawling. He rarely falls anymore unless he is going downhill or walking over something. He can’t get to a standing pposition on his own from the floor yet, but will pull himself up from any piece of furniture and let go from there. He’s getting fast now. There’s no stopping him! Go JJ!!!

The iPod Craze

I remember when I was in gradeschool and all the way through high school, the latest and greatest CD player maybe cost $50.00 and it wasn’t likely that many of my friends actually owned one that cost more than $20.00.  I myself was included in the dreaming of having the best but had to deal with second best.

As a parent I dread the idea of having to spend HUNDREDS of dollars for music (and now video) devices for my son when he is older.  I know he will want one just as I did when I was a youngster and to not give him one and at the same time remember how I myself felt… well let’s just say that when this issue needs to be addressed it will be a rough conversation.

Seriously though, what are these MP3 providers like Apple thinking?  A 16 gig iPod Touch is roughly going for $400.00.  My husband WON his iPod shuffle and even though it was refurbished, still would have cost $70.00 + shipping for something that is the size of a stack of wallet sized photos.

So for those of you moms that read my blog and have a child asking you for the latest and greatest, let me make a suggestion on how you should go about trying to get one of these gadgets without paying a dime…

Find a website that is giving one of these things away for free.  For example, I found DatePad.com this morning.  This website is a free Internet dating service that asks 25 or so questions and matches you in five very important relationship areas to ensure the best possible dating circumstances.  Their main goal I’d guess is to build a little online recognition so they are holding a contest wherein all you need to do is write a blog post much like I am doing now.  You need to talk up the website a little, link to it and probably the actual iPod Touch 16 gig giveaway page and you’ll be entered in to possibly win through a random selection of applicable entrants.

The second way to go about this that I can think of and see ALL THE TIME is that companies like Apple are constantly giving products to bloggers to review and even some to give away and keep themselves.  I’m not 100% sure how exactly to get some of these products in my own hand but maybe if I end up winning the iPod Touch, I’ll write my own review and start there.

Walking!!!!

So this past week has been super exciting! A couple times early in the week, JJ would walk 2 or 3 steps if John held his hand and let go. Then Friday, he was walking 3 steps without having to have his hands held initially. Friday evening, he was really showing off for Bible Study and was walking 6 or 7 steps. Then today, he was really getting a hold of the whole walking thing. He was able to walk for at least 10 seconds which was 12 steps. Once today, I was in the kitchen and he was holding on to the couch. When I turned to look at him, he was walking to his saucer which was a good 8-10 feet away. My little boy is growing up so fast! Who would’ve thought the day he’d reach this milestone would be Friday the 13th!

It’s been a while!

Just thought I’d give everyone an update on how baby JJ and family are doing. JJ is transforming into a more goregeous little boy each day that passes by. He’s 10 1/2 months old now. When you slick his hair back, he really looks  a lot like John. He is still eating broccoli, which amazes me since it is green. He eats it plain for grandma and Brittney, disguised in fruit for the babysitter and for me, only when he wants to. He’s turned into a picky eater for me and will only take cereal and maybe fruit from me. He’s still not walking, little booger. He has gotten so quick while crawling that I think he figures out, “What do I need to walk on my legs for?” After all, he’s been crawling for almost 5 months now and he’s been cruising for about 2 1/2. He just doesn’t seem to have the confidence to let go.  One night I decided that I was going to try a technique for night weaning. I’ve heard that if you make their middle of the night feeding 10 minutes or so later each night until it runs into the morning feeding, that they’ll eventually stop wanting it. Well, the night I decided to do that, he never woke up for his feeding and the same thing has happened 3 nights in a row. Yay! I’ve figured that the key to doing this is not letting him snack during the evening so he is extra hungry at bedtime and gets more full to last him longer. Seems to be working. **fingers crossed**